Sex and Intimacy Therapy for men | Restore Connection Sexual Dysfunction

If you are struggling with intimacy, desire, or sexual connection, you are not alone, even if it feels hard to name. You may notice distance from your partner, frustration with your body, pressure to perform, or a quiet sense that something is off but difficult to explain If you are new here, I am Richard De La Garza, LCSW, a veteran therapist working with military connected individuals who want care that holds beyond the therapy room. If you are looking for support around sexual concerns, intimacy, or changes in desire, you are in the right place. 


Sex therapy here offers a grounded, respectful space to talk about what is actually happening in your body, your relationships, and your daily life without shame or oversimplification. Together, we explore common challenges, treatment approaches, and practical ways to move through sexual difficulties toward greater clarity, confidence, and connection that fits who you are now. Explore the therapy for veterans service.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a structured, supportive form of therapy that helps individuals and couples address concerns related to intimacy, desire, performance, connection, and sexual functioning. It recognizes that sexual health is not separate from emotional wellbeing, identity, stress, trauma, or life transitions. For veterans and military connected individuals, sexual concerns often emerge alongside changes in routine, roles, relationships, or nervous system regulation after service.


This type of therapy is important because sexual difficulties are frequently misunderstood or minimized, even though they can deeply affect self esteem, relationships, and quality of life. Many people feel pressure to handle these issues privately or assume something is wrong with them. In reality, challenges with intimacy are often a natural response to prolonged stress, trauma exposure, medication effects, or unspoken expectations around performance and control.

Most common symptoms related to sexual concerns

  • Low or fluctuating desire You may notice a loss of interest in sex or desire that feels inconsistent or disconnected from what you want mentally.
  • Difficulty with arousal or performance Challenges such as erectile difficulties, delayed or early ejaculation, or trouble with physical responsiveness are common and often tied to stress or nervous system overload.
  • Emotional distance during intimacy Feeling disconnected, numb, or “not fully there” during sexual experiences can signal unresolved stress, trauma, or emotional shutdown.
  • Anxiety or pressure around sex Worrying about performance, expectations, or disappointing a partner can make intimacy feel stressful rather than connecting.
  • Avoidance of intimacy You may pull away from physical or emotional closeness to avoid discomfort, embarrassment, or conflict.
  • Strain in relationships Sexual concerns often spill into communication, trust, and emotional closeness with a partner, leading to tension or misunderstanding.

How do I know if sex therapy could help me?

  • Do I feel worried, frustrated, or disconnected when it comes to sex or intimacy? If sexual experiences bring up stress, pressure, or emotional distance rather than connection, therapy may help clarify what is happening.
  • Have changes in desire, arousal, or performance started affecting my confidence? When sexual concerns begin to impact how you see yourself or your body, support can help restore clarity and self trust.
  • Do I avoid intimacy to prevent discomfort or conflict?  Pulling away from physical or emotional closeness is often a sign that something feels unresolved or unsafe to address alone.
  • Do I feel unsure how to talk about sex with my partner? Difficulty communicating needs, limits, or concerns around intimacy is a common reason people seek sex therapy.
  • Do sexual issues feel tied to stress, trauma, or life changes? If sexual challenges appeared after service, major transitions, or prolonged stress, therapy can help connect the dots without blame.

Ready to get started?

Step 1: Grounded Intake & Shared Mapping


We start with a collaborative intake session where we slow down together, map what’s happening in your body and life, and name the systems, histories, and power dynamics that have shaped how you respond. This isn’t a checkbox assessment, it’s a Freirean dialogue where your story is treated as real knowledge, not a problem to be fixed.

Step 2: Freirean Praxis Sessions (Reflection + Action)


In ongoing 1:1 sessions, we practice praxis: we reflect critically on your patterns, triggers, and environments, and then translate that insight into small, concrete actions that honor your values and your nervous system. You’ll leave each session with 1–3 grounded experiments or practices, no perfectionism, no overwhelm, just doable steps toward more dignity, choice, and ease.

Step 3: Integration, Reclaiming, and Future Alignment



As we work, we regularly pause to reflect on what’s shifting: how you’re feeling in your body, how your relationships and boundaries are changing, and what freedom looks like for you now. Together, we refine your practices, celebrate what’s working, and craft a sustainable way of living and leading that’s aligned with your values, so the transformation isn’t just a session experience, but part of your everyday life.

Hello, I am Richard De La Garza, LCSW. 

I work with veterans and military connected individuals who are experiencing sexual concerns that feel confusing, frustrating, or difficult to talk about. We focus on understanding how stress, trauma, identity shifts, medical factors, and accumulated pressure affect intimacy and desire, and how to restore enough regulation and clarity so sexual experiences are guided by choice rather than anxiety or avoidance.

What topics can we talk about in therapy for sexual concerns?

  • Changes in desire or arousal  We explore how stress, trauma, health, medication, and life transitions affect sexual interest and responsiveness, without assuming something is wrong with you.
  • Performance pressure and anxiety Therapy can help unpack how expectations, fear of failure, or pressure to perform interfere with intimacy and create cycles of avoidance or frustration.
  • Emotional disconnection during intimacy We address feelings of numbness, distance, or difficulty staying present during sexual experiences and work on restoring a sense of safety and connection.
  • Communication with a partner  We focus on how to talk about sex, needs, limits, and concerns clearly and respectfully, especially when these conversations feel uncomfortable or risky.

Tips and resources for coping with sexual concerns

  • Reduce pressure around performance Shifting focus away from outcomes and toward presence can ease anxiety and help your body respond more naturally over time.
  • Pay attention to stress outside the bedroom. Chronic stress often shows up in intimacy. Improving sleep, movement, and daily rhythms can positively affect sexual wellbeing.
  • Create space for honest conversation. Talking with a trusted partner or person about what you are experiencing can reduce isolation and unspoken tension.
  • Limit comparison and unrealistic expectations Stepping back from media or conversations that promote rigid ideas about sex and performance can help reduce shame and pressure.

Hi, I’m Richard De La Garza, a Mexican American–Chicano Licensed Clinical Social Worker

I specialize in liberation-rooted support for veterans, military-connected individuals and families, with a particular commitment to BIPOC and LGBTQ communities. 

Investment & What’s Included:

I believe in being clear and transparent about pricing, so you know exactly what you’re saying “yes” to.

  • Complimentary Consultation

    I offer a complimentary 15‑minute phone consultation. During this call, you’ll have the opportunity to share your needs and ask questions.


    If you prefer, you can request a consultation via email using the contact form; however, I find that a brief verbal conversation often makes it easier to communicate what you’re looking for. 


    I invite you to ask about:


    • The therapy process in general
    • My therapeutic approach
    • Payment and logistics

    So you can make an informed choice about whether my services are the right fit for you.

    START NOW

  • Option 1: Individual Session

     Investment:  


    • Telehealth (online): $250 per 50‑minute session 
    • In‑person (only in San Diego, CA): $300 per 50‑minute session 
    • Students (current full‑time with valid ID): $200 per 50‑minute session

    The same 50‑minute session rate applies whether you are an individual, couple, or family.


     Includes:  


    • One 50‑minute 1:1 session (online or in‑person), centered on your current needs and capacity 
    • Liberation‑rooted, nervous‑system‑informed support (not a one‑size‑fits‑all script) 
    • A brief post‑session summary with 1–3 grounded practices or reflections to explore 
    • An email check‑in within a week to support integration and answer clarifying questions

    START NOW

  • Option 2: Deep Dive Series (6 Sessions over 3 Months)

    Investment: 


    $1,500 for 6 sessions


    (Payment plans available: 2-3 months, 4+ months


    Includes:


    • Six 50‑minute 1:1 sessions, scheduled over approximately 3 months
    • A shared roadmap we co‑create, grounded in your values, goals, and capacity
    • Freire‑inspired reflection + action practices tailored to your real‑life context
    • Access to custom resources (handouts, nervous‑system exercises, journaling prompts)
    • Brief email support between sessions for questions and check‑ins
    START NOW

  • Payments

    I do not accept insurance at this time.


    I accept the following forms of payment:


    • Major credit cards: Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover
    • Cash, Apple Pay, Venmo, PayPal, and Zelle
    • Checks and debit cards without a credit card feature are not accepted.
    • No Surprises Act: You have the right to receive a Good Faith Estimate of what your services may cost.
    START NOW

FAQ

Why do veterans often experience changes in desire or arousal after service?

Stress, trauma exposure, and changes in nervous system regulation can all affect desire and arousal. Many veterans report their body feeling “on guard” even in safe settings. Sex therapy helps you retrain that response so intimacy feels safe and grounded again.

 Can sex therapy help if I’m dealing with medication side effects?

Yes. Many antidepressants and anxiety medications can lower libido or delay arousal. A sex therapist can help you identify behavioral strategies to counter these effects and coordinate with your doctor to adjust medication safely if needed.

 What if I feel disconnected or emotionally numb during intimacy?

Emotional numbness is a common post-stress response, not a sign of failure. Sex therapy focuses on helping you reconnect with physical sensations, rebuild trust in your body, and rediscover pleasure that aligns with where you are now.

How do I talk to my partner about sexual concerns without shame or blame?

Therapy can guide these conversations using tools like non-defensive communication and boundary mapping. You’ll learn to express needs clearly while preserving trust and emotional safety for both partners.

What if I feel ashamed or broken because of sexual difficulties?

You’re not broken. Sexual struggles are often a body’s normal response to stress or trauma, not a reflection of worth. Sex therapy helps replace shame with understanding, and supports rebuilding confidence, self-compassion, and intimacy at your own pace.